My First 5K

I have finally made the decision.  I kept putting it off, saying that I wasn't ready, but I decided that, ready or not, I will be running my first 5K in just over a week on November 9.  I am starting to get really nervous.  I still haven't actually run a 5K yet.  I think they most I've done is about 3 or 3 1/2 K.  I keep telling myself that I just can't stop once I start.  That's how I've gotten as far as I have so far, but I'm still scared I won't be able to do the whole thing.  My brain just keeps telling me that I'm not good enough for this yet.  I'm trying to not get discouraged, but I've always been quick to doubt myself.  I just keep looking to my mom for inspiration.  She was where I am a year and a half ago, and she is running her first marathon in three days!  She keeps telling me I can do it because I'm half her age.  I keep reminding her that she is about half my size, so I really think she has the advantage.  I'm also having problems with my calves, so that is getting into my head as well.  I know that my body can endure running for 5K, it just seems that my mind doesn't want to believe it.

I Miss Learning

After seventeen straight years of school, I was sure that I was finished with it for a good long while.  It's not that my school experiences were bad by any means, but who wants to do homework for that long?  Finally I was finished with school and ready for the adult world and my career.  Ironically enough, I chose the career that will forever keep me in a school, but being a teacher is obviously very different from being a student, so it wasn't a big deal.

So, I started dedicating all of my time to preparing lessons, grading, and getting to know my students.  There is no doubt in my mind that I chose the correct career for me.  I absolutely love what I'm doing, but at the same time, I've recently started to feel like something was missing from life too.  After weeks of thinking it was simply free time, which has basically been nonexistent in my life since school and volleyball season started, was all I was missing, I realized that what had exited my life was learning.  I had spent seventeen years trying to pull as much knowledge as possible into my mind, and then it seemed like after my graduation, the learning switch in my brain was turned off.

Of course, that's not totally true.  I've learned several new skills in planning and organizing my classroom.  I've learned several new skills in technology and how to apply it in the classroom.  I've learned about running as I take on that new hobby.  However, it all came out of necessity.  I have to use the technology and organizing skills.  I have to get in shape if I want a healthy future.  I haven't been able to pursue my own interests.  I miss studying periods of literature, the history of English, French, American Counterculture, and any of my other favorite topics.

Without the constant pursuit of knowledge in these subjects, I've realized how much I truly love, and truly miss, learning.  Slightly joking, I said to a colleague the other day that if I could sit in an office and research all day long, I would be happy.  That's an exaggeration and I would never want to give up teaching, but I do wish I had more time to do just that.

Therefore, that is one of my new personal goals.  I haven't figured out exactly how I want to tackle it.  Researching for research's sake is fine, but I would like to have some final product come of it.  I have always thought it would be amazing to get published in an academic journal.  That is the best idea I've had so far.  Hopefully more will come, but I certainly do not want to keep going on in the intellectual rut I am currently in.

Conference Champs (Mostly)

Well, my girls have played their last two conference games.  It happened a week ago, but I've been sans internet for a week.  On Monday, they played an amazing match against Milan.  It was easy to see that they wanted the win and were going to do whatever they needed to do to get it.  We even battled against one of the least favored officials in the area.  Despite that set back, the girls worked together and pulled of the win, making it seem effortless.  After that game, we were guaranteed at least a share in the conference championship.

Then came the Southwestern game.  It was a big deal to the girls because it decided outright conference championship.  It was a big deal to me because I graduated from Southwestern, and every thing I know about volleyball came from their coach.  It is incredibly hard to play against them because any other time, I want them to succeed.  I also really wanted the win, though.  I wanted to prove to my former coach that I had learned well and was now passing on my knowledge to a new group.  He had also (playfully) chastised me for my losing squad at the beginning of the year.  This was of course before we ended up with a record nearly as good as their's.

The girls fought hard and even won a set, but Southwestern fought a little harder and won the match.  Our girls were dejected, but we tried to pick them up.  We'll probably be playing in next week in Sectionals after all.  I'm still so proud of what my team has accomplished this year.  No one expected volleyball to win a game, let alone a conference championship.  It's amazing what can happen when you're fighting to prove everyone wrong.

Adventures in Coaching

I spent practically my entire life being an athlete until I went to college.  Somehow, when I went to college I ended up with a lot of new friends (including the man I married) who just didn't really care about sports.  It really bummed me out for quite a while.  I felt like I had lost the biggest part of myself. I tried to make the most of it, though.  I was able to explore my musical talent and start many other hobbies as well.  However, I still missed sports so much.

I knew that going to school for being a teacher could eventually lead to a coaching position as well.  I won't lie; it was one of the many reasons I wanted to be a teacher at all.  I was raised by a coach, and I couldn't wait to do it myself.  However, as I got closer to graduation, I also started realizing that a coaching position was not guarunteed with a teaching position.  Heck, a teaching position wasn't even guarunteed.

After graduation, I started applying for every job that was within in driving distance, and the possibility of coaching was far from my mind.  I just wanted a job.  Finally, I was called for my first interview at Switzerland County High School.  During the interview, I was just trying to give the best answers, but then I was asked if I would be willing to be involved in extra-curriculars.  This was my chance! I told the principal I would be glad to be a coach.  Then he asked if I could coach soccer, football, or basketball, and my dreams were crushed.  I didn't know a thing about any of those sports.  Volleyball and softball were where my expertise (sort of) was.  I still wanted the job though, so I let it go. Two days later, I had another interview with Switzerland County, but this time at the middle school.  This time, I made it clear that I was interested in extra-curriculars from the get go.  However, it still seemed unlikely that they needed me for anything.  Despite the lack of coaching options, I was hired to be an English teacher at the middle school.  I was estatic to have a job, but it seemed like I had to let coaching go for now.

However, a couple weeks before school started, I got a call from the high school athletic director.  He said that he'd have a volleyball position open for me.  I would only be an assisstant, so I wouldn't get paid, but I wasn't worried about that.  This meant that I could learn how to coach with much less pressure.

Now we're near the end of our season, and it has certainly been a roller coaster ride.  Sometimes, when the girls' attitudes are really flaring, I'm reminded of why I mostly hung out with boys in high school.

Said No Teacher Ever (Part 1)

Too True

I'm a Runner Now (Sort of)

Almost two years ago, my mother got the crazy idea that she was going to start running.  Maybe it wasn't so crazy.  High blood pressure runs in our family, as well as strokes caused by high blood pressure.  She already has the HBP, but she's terrified of having a stroke, which is understandable.  She ran her first 5k and had a terrible time.  It didn't deter her though.  She  stuck with it, and now she runs a couple races every month.  She has won her age group more than once now; she has run her first mini-marathon in a great time; and she's currently training for her first full marathon.  She's an absolute inspiration to me.

For the past year, I have been walking many of the 5K and 4 mile races she has participated in.  I do pretty well in them too.  I improve almost every race, and, in my last race,  I was second overall walker. However, I wanted more.  I wanted to run too.  This is coming from a girl who has always detested running.  Even when I was an athlete in high school, I was a terrible runner.  I didn't even know where to start.  Luckily, I checked out my school issued iPad's app store and found an app called "From 0 to 5K."  It is an 8 week program that asks me to run three times a week.   It mixes walking with running and slowly builds up your endurance.

I am currently at the halfway point in my program: 4 weeks down, 4 to go.  Every time I have to run for a longer period of time, I am reminded that I'm still horrible at running. I'm trying so hard, but it's also discouraging sometimes.  My mom has been my biggest supporter throughout all of this.  I don't think I want to be a marathon runner, but I do want to be able to run 5k races without stopping to walk.  I'm starting to realize that running is in the mind much more than the body, so I'm trying to push myself harder and harder every time I run.

Life Going 1,000,000 mph

When I was in high school, I thought I was too busy for everything.  I played two sports and was a member of several extra curricular activities.  Then I got to college and thought how silly my high school self had been.  I was sure then I knew the true meaning of busy.  Taking on a full schedule every semester (even summer terms), working, and being in a leadership role at a campus organization. I never had time for anything.  Now,  I’m finally adult and in the real world.  This is what I had been working toward for years.  Did all of my hard work pay off for me in the end?  It’s hard to say.  I enjoy what I do, but now I can’t help but think how silly my college self was.  THIS is busy!

This year I am a new teacher at Switzerland County Middle School, and I have taken on the role of assistant volleyball coach.  This doesn’t sound like much, I know, but let’s add in the fact that I live almost an hour away from school.  On game days, I leave my house at 6:15 a.m., and I usually don’t return until 11:00 p.m.  On days when I just have practice, I at least get to make dinner, but that’s about it for my night.  I’ve also taken up a running program to get my health under control.  Add all of that to the fact that I’m at the end of my first 9 weeks of my first year of teaching, and I’m pretty sure that I’m already about three years behind in grading.  Which leads to me to my main point. I’M STRESSED! I’ve never been one to handle stress well.  I love the idea of being organized but fail at maintaining a system.  I love cooking dinner for my family but rarely am home to do so.  I truly want to turn my life around with running but feel so exhausted by the time I get home to run.  I have a desire to be creative but no time to create.

Hence, this blog.  I need somewhere to write, get my feelings out.  I want to share with the world my feelings of insanity because in some weird way, it makes me feel much more sane.  Finally, I’m doing this because if I don’t find a healthy way to manage my stress soon, I’ll probably have a mental breakdown.

There won’t be much rhyme or reason to this blog.  It will just be the things I care about in my chaotic life.