I Miss Learning

After seventeen straight years of school, I was sure that I was finished with it for a good long while.  It's not that my school experiences were bad by any means, but who wants to do homework for that long?  Finally I was finished with school and ready for the adult world and my career.  Ironically enough, I chose the career that will forever keep me in a school, but being a teacher is obviously very different from being a student, so it wasn't a big deal.

So, I started dedicating all of my time to preparing lessons, grading, and getting to know my students.  There is no doubt in my mind that I chose the correct career for me.  I absolutely love what I'm doing, but at the same time, I've recently started to feel like something was missing from life too.  After weeks of thinking it was simply free time, which has basically been nonexistent in my life since school and volleyball season started, was all I was missing, I realized that what had exited my life was learning.  I had spent seventeen years trying to pull as much knowledge as possible into my mind, and then it seemed like after my graduation, the learning switch in my brain was turned off.

Of course, that's not totally true.  I've learned several new skills in planning and organizing my classroom.  I've learned several new skills in technology and how to apply it in the classroom.  I've learned about running as I take on that new hobby.  However, it all came out of necessity.  I have to use the technology and organizing skills.  I have to get in shape if I want a healthy future.  I haven't been able to pursue my own interests.  I miss studying periods of literature, the history of English, French, American Counterculture, and any of my other favorite topics.

Without the constant pursuit of knowledge in these subjects, I've realized how much I truly love, and truly miss, learning.  Slightly joking, I said to a colleague the other day that if I could sit in an office and research all day long, I would be happy.  That's an exaggeration and I would never want to give up teaching, but I do wish I had more time to do just that.

Therefore, that is one of my new personal goals.  I haven't figured out exactly how I want to tackle it.  Researching for research's sake is fine, but I would like to have some final product come of it.  I have always thought it would be amazing to get published in an academic journal.  That is the best idea I've had so far.  Hopefully more will come, but I certainly do not want to keep going on in the intellectual rut I am currently in.